Her Majesty’s Birthday and the EU Referendum

June 23, 2016 12:00 am Published by Leave your thoughts

Good morning Your Majesty on this most auspicious of days

As You celebrate your ninetieth birthday in so many ways;
Across the land, in cities and villages, across fields and vales
Up mountains, down long streets, and across all green dales
But, most of all, in each and every of your subjects’ hearts
Singing Your glory and long history in whole and in parts. 

Now that we have dispensed with the rhyming formalities
And celebrated our summer of great content made glorious
By Your unifying power – we, Your humble subjects wish
To put your mind at ease concerning being advanced in years. 
Your memory, Ma’am is not impaired as You may occasionally think
As You watch endless bold printed words fly about blocking the sunshine
Concerning the European Union Referendum on 23rd June.
Sometimes in older age we have many little instances of déjà vu –
Probably caused by such a huge train of experiences evoking extra 
Shining carriages of memories – mind the gap Your Majesty
As You step off this particular carriage for the platform was moved 
As part of current austerity measures and You may fall in between. 

In between two referendums (or should that be referenda Ma’am?).
Yes Ma’am Your humble servants already voted in a Referendum.
It happened on Thursday 5 June 1975 in younger and happier days
Under Your Prime Minister he of “the pound in your pocket” fame.
And the citizenry (beg pardon Ma’am, You rule over subjects only);
And the humble subjects voted overwhelmingly to become part of Europe. 

So, Majesty, You may well ask why this second Referendum
Some forty one years later – under Your Prime Minister 
Of “I wish to be all things to all men and women regardless…” fame.
Imagine, Majesty, if the clocks could be turned back.
Imagine how wonderful it would be to have a second go
Rectifying what each citizen (subject, Ma’am) no longer likes.
Ah! The mistakes to rectify – the done deeds to undo –
The politicians conceived then to unconceive by popular vote…

And, another little point Majesty, how does Your Majesty
Wish each subject to vote for confusion reigns and obfuscation rules. 
Your Prime Minister and his group frighten each voter thus:
If Your voters leave the EU then their holiday will cost more,
Their freedoms are forfeit and their pensions are spent. 
Out of Europe they will become unemployed and the NHS 
As well as other grand institutions will collapse 
And even Your schools might be at risk
And, most of all, Your male subjects will suffer 
Serious erectile dysfunction and Your female subjects
Will desire the forbidden and engage in sex with the French
Or worse, the Germans and Greeks who speak no English. 

And Boris of the bad hair day wants out of Europe
And he gives endless scare stories as to why. 
If your voters stay in the EU then their holiday will cost more,
Their freedoms are forfeit and their pensions are spent. 
Staying in Europe they will become unemployed and the NHS 
As well as other grand institutions will collapse 
And even Your schools might be at risk
And, most of all, Your male subjects will suffer 
Serious erectile dysfunction and Your female subjects
Will desire the readily available and engage in sex with the French
Or worse, the Germans and Greeks who speak no English. 

Ah! Majesty! Majesty! What shall Your subjects do? What shall they do?
Your advice would be so welcome and will fit tired feet like a shoe
And Cinderella-like, all voters will sing for you and your health so fit
And do as You say and vote according to “if the shoe fits, wear it”.

And I, Faysal Mikdadi, poet par excellence, await to be Your Laureate
Upon one knee only, the other aches so because over the years I ate
Too much and crushed my bones with the weight of responsibility and fight
And am ready also to be dubbed Your Laureate as well as Your Knight.

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This post was written by Faysal Mikdadi

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