We Must Be Invisible

Article by Beth Porter

Surely one of the most coveted accoutrements of The Superhero brigade is a Cloak of Invisibility. Just imagine all the venues s/he might enter unchallenged, what secrets might be overheard in a sports hall changing room or a COBRA Committee at 70 Whitehall.And yet, for all the attention given to us little people, the hoi polloi, we might as well be invisible.

There’s mockery a’plenty on both social media and more mainstream outlets, all recently prompted by ThickLizzie’s finger pointing at “the left wing.” She’s blameless herself, of course; ain’t done nothing wrong, guv. Just never given a chance to prove her brilliantly thought-through economic policies were potent and precious, and could correct everything from the alleged Commie-tinged UK’s Monetary Policy Committee rate [headed by that notorious Marxist Andrew Bailey] to curing colon cancer.

Bailey, a former monetary policy analyst is currently on a salary of some half-a-million pounds. So he’s not exactly invisible.

The direct implication [as she teases the electorate whether or not she’ll run again], is that her rival Rishi Sunak’s misjudgements are tantamount to wiping off his shaving foam with a cloth dipped in strawberry jam. We’re meant to take all this extremely seriously… because she cares, you see.

Though the papers fumble around trying to sellotape together the various levels of Tory indignation, the most glaring question is about the opposition. This is a perfect opportunity for any party or a coalition to break its police cordon of politeness, and rip out with verbal punches.

Some speakers are well-meaning, but far too respectful of Parliamentary protocol. Neither the Tories nor the dithering public are swayed by logic or Socratic argument. These hefty-Lefty MPs needn’t incur the wrath of Speaker Lindsay Hoyle. There are plenty of legal, decent ways to startle, to provide pithy taglines in the daily press across both left and right. None of them need cast aside that Cloak of Invisibility.

Normally I’d be inclined the leave out mention of the monarchy in this context. But all this quasi-political dabbling is meant to unite us, bring us together as a nation. As though we all share the same interests, let alone the same social values.

But our newly promoted King has decreed that his official Coronation will be celebrated on 6 May 2023, in a ceremony at Westminster Abbey. Which is not exactly a venue that includes us hoi polloi among its parishioners. but, hey, we can watch it on the telly. If we can afford one.

In other words, among his vestments, uniforms, and decorative flim-flam, Charlie can pluck out his Cloak of Invisibility, and spread it wide over the United Kingdom for us all to hide under. Out of sight and far, far out of his mind.

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